POSITIVE FURY
FACE TO FACE WITH MY INNER CHILD is me dealing with my body and my identity at a pretty specific chapter of my life. As I write this in March of 2024, I'm both living in the north of Portugal (relatively new for me) and am in the best shape of my life. I'm not used to looking at this me in the mirror and how he is treated compared to past versions of myself. The truth is people do look at and treat you differently when you're good looking, and that's a little tough to swallow sometimes even though it should automatically be easy. At the same time, in general people in Portugal have all kinds of assumptions about me given where I'm from and my identity as a boogie boarder slash artist. I have gone on dates with the most beautiful (and interesting) women as of yet in my life, but I feel off balance, face to face with child me, a fat little boy who didn't feel worthy.
The letters are both of my names: Andrew (outlined in black), my middle name was what I was called and went by until I was about 17. I took control of my life and changed to my first name, Andrew, to Charlie at 18 (outlined in white). I have been creating who he is since then.
If I could go back in time and hug Andrew and tell him everything we've done up until now, he wouldn't believe it. But of course this isn't possible. Instead, I must love the child inside and love the person I see in the mirror every day. It's not always possible. I don't always see someone worthy, even though I should. This might take a lifetime of work.
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